a note from the basement dweller :)
July 6, 2008I have officially clocked one week of living in my brother and Alison’s basement. It’s dark down there (Colin is out getting night lights as we speak) and I often bump my knees when attempting to find the bathroom in the middle of the night. But it’s also very spacious. We have our own bedroom with a door, as well as a large studio area set up where we can turn up the music and get work done. Alison has joined us during the day when Tom is at work for a little sitting and chatting. It’s nice. It works.
I am the resident chef (for the most part) and happy to be using my cooking skeels. Big pots of spaghetti. Three-bean chilis. Stir-fries. It feels good to make healthy and yummy meals for receptive bellies. Reminds me of being much younger and cooking for my big family (I’m the oldest of 6).
And I’m learning the art of helping Alison. She and I became very close in South Carolina and I’m happy to be spending more time with her again. She doesn’t hesitate to tell me what she needs (a snack, a water refill, more pain meds) and I’m grateful for the opportunity to feel useful.
Since the move, my creativity has dropped off the map. Sure — I can still get my work done, but I don’t feel inspired. I think I’m still reeling from the upheaval and all the changes right now. (The bad home sale surprises, moving stress, missing my old yoga class, the impending house-hunt, etc) I find myself blank when I try to write here or in my journal. I don’t know what to paint (I’m in 3 shows this fall and I’m starting to feel the pressure). Heck, I don’t even want to look at anything art related. No creative blogs. No gallery shows. Not even art books. It’s bad this time.
But instead of panicking, I’m just chillin’ and waiting for it to pass. Because I’ve been here before and know it eventually will. Just gotta keep on keepin’ on.
Anyway, just some snippets of now– and I wanted to say hello.
hello, how are you?
penny
July 6th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
[...] penelope Share [...]
July 6th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I think taking care of the people we love is a creative act. You are creating peace. And everything else in it’s time and place.
Peace to you, creative girl.
AOB
July 6th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
I think you are doing a good, right things, and you know - our lives are getting bigger when we do that - and I think that bigger life will take a new, may be different shape - in creativity and in other things, perhaps, with a little time.
Cup of tea?
July 6th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Do you need anything? Easy meal recipes, a box of surprises? Just shout out and we’ll be happy to accomodate.
July 7th, 2008 at 7:32 am
You guys are super sweet. We are doing alright. I think we’re just getting through the adjustment period and things are settling. I appreciate the thought that doing this now (instead of painting nonstop) is also a creative act. I hadn’t thought of it like that…
Tea is a great idea. :)
July 7th, 2008 at 7:44 am
Just waiting for the creativity down-time to pass is probably what works best, but gosh is it hard! I always end up panicking and freaking out. Good luck on this new phase in your life. Allison is lucky to have you!
July 7th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Awww, Penelope! You guys are the best, most generous people I’ve ever heard of! Sounds like you’ve all been giving so much lately that it is no wonder your creative cup is empty. I’m sure that just getting through the days for a little while will give it some space to fill up again. Drink in the moment as it is RIGHT NOW and let go of what you think it SHOULD be.
xoxoxox
July 7th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
it will pass.
not to make my life seem more or less, but have been telling bryce the same thing. i am burnt.
i can’t feel anything creative come to the surface. it will pass.
alison is lucky, just like you are lucky to have her and the relationship that you all four share.
peace.
July 7th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I’ve been where you are and it can be very hard (and often very rewarding, if you’re lucky).
About the art? Do something different that will accommodate your new life. Something you can put down and pick up easily. Don’t worry about whether or not its “good” or even if its “art.” It worked for me. It ended up being fun—something I totally wasn’t expecting. Who knows? It might even be just what you wanted for your shows. Good luck and take care!
July 9th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
So many changes in such a short period of time–no wonder your creative brain needs a rest. Enjoy the summer, soak up the new life and I am sure that by the end of August your creativity will be bustling again.
What an amazing family you have–may the summer bring new light and good health to all of you.
July 9th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
If you need a wonderful yoga class, you might try Citiyoga on 10th street here in Indianapolis. It is a healing place. There is an art to caring for people and it sounds like a symphony…we need to take care of each other! Sounds like you are practicing another form of art! Welcome home…
July 10th, 2008 at 12:31 am
Penny! Hi and hello. You inspire me with your honestly in sharing all the good and bad going on in your life. I’m just coming out of a low-down place and seeing you post about NOT wanting to create, but having the mindset to keep on doing it anyway just makes my hope rise inside: “I can create in dark places too!” THANK YOU.
July 11th, 2008 at 7:40 am
so nice to read the honesty and reality of your process. sounds like your head IS in the right place and you are not forcing anything.
July 11th, 2008 at 7:53 am
I am so happy Alison has someone there for her during that day. After my divorce i could get back into my art at all. My head wasn’t in it and it was almost too quiet for all my racing emotions. Then i had a girlfriend ask my to do a mural in her home. It was a type of art I didn’t normally do, so I had to concentrate in a different way. Maybe you could try a creative project that is out of your element (it doesn’t have to be too time consuming!) Sewing, knitting something that has an end result to remind yourself that “hey! you’ve got it going on!”
July 11th, 2008 at 7:55 am
Oh my typos! Sorry Penny, too much multitasking fo rme!! During “the day…” I could not get into my art…..I do believe I need a cup of tea myself!
July 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Penny, thanks for writting…it is so good to read.