grandpa
March 3, 2008I remember your giant hands. Like bear paws or canoe paddles. Totally capable of anything. I remember the way they looked as they snuck another cookie without grandma noticing (even though she still did) or stole a pickle from my salad plate. Always followed by a high-pitched “hee hee hee” and an elbow nudge to the ribs.
I remember how small I felt next to you when I was little. You were a mountain. And I was peeky beaky. And I knew you loved me, riding on your lap pretending to steer the blue boat that looked like a sparkly bowling ball.
I remember you tying up my orange life jacket and baiting my fishing pole with the charlie brown reel, telling me to watch the red and white bobber for any sign of movement. And I did so intently. Wanting to catch a fish as big as the one you hung up on the wall. But all I ever caught were doinkers, shimmering on the line waiting to be thrown back.
I remember being convinced you were in the mafia because of the long coats and giant brown glasses you wore and everyone greeting you with a respectful “Hello Jake” and a firm handshake. I felt like I was next to some kind of dutch royalty. And I needed to impress you with stories of good grades or my winning team. But you never cared, really. You thought I was good either way, it seemed.
I remember you taking us out for ridiculously large hamburgers and out to the beach to jet ski and parasail. I remember you getting ready for luaus in your flowery shirts, and remarking that grandma was taking too long. Saying we should get out the snackies while we waited. Always the shrimp, which looked even shrimpier next to you.
I remember sleek caddies and golf clubs. Funny socks on the ends that I never really understood. I remember cherries, not olives. And ice-makers with styrofoam cups. Fishing movies and raspberry bushes. The way your office smelled.
I remember you telling me that my future husband was a “keeper” not a doinker. And that you were ok with him being Irish cause you had an irishman working for you once and he was a good guy. “hee hee hee”, elbow to the ribs.
I remember you. More than the pictures. More than the stories. I remember you because I see a lot of you in me. And I’m going to miss you grandpa.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:59 am
what a heart-stopping post….Have you recently lost your Grandpa….Regardless…I am moved to tears.
Susan
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:01 am
i feel like i just looked thru a photo album of your sweetest memories and inside jokes with your Grandpa. really beautiful, Penelope. i loved reading it. thanks for sharing. i never had a Grandpa that i knew. you are so blessed to have yours. even in memories. xojenny
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:04 am
I’m so sorry for your loss. What a lovely post. *hugs*
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:13 am
Both of my Grandfathers are at that point where I know they won’t be around much longer. Reading this brought back the tender memories I have of them. This post is really beautiful…it brought me to tears. I only hope that, when the time comes, I can keep their spirits alive with the memories I have…like you have done here.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:18 am
Hi Penelope,
I remember my grandmother that way too. She taught me to knit (among other things) and now I´m into knitting again. Well, I guess every stitch makes me remember some funny thing about her.
She was 94 when she died, but I still remember her carrying me up the stairs to put me to sleep the night my younger sister was born. I guess the good memories stay and just keep us warm at all times. Like those knitted boots she made for all of us to sleep in. :)
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:32 am
[...] penelope Share [...]
March 3rd, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Beautiful. May you find comfort. I wish you well.
March 3rd, 2008 at 4:12 pm
my goddess ~~~
what a deep and dear, sparkling and magnificent spirit your grandpa is.
i am always so deeply amazed at the beauty in all of our lives…
for all our ancestors and relations,
we send out a long calling AHO into the star-dewlit night.
~~~ big big love, gentleness, hugs,
Leonie
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Oh, your grandpa sounds wonderful. My heart goes out to you.
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Such beautiful memories to treasure! big hug ~
March 3rd, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Very nice memories and a special relationship to treasure always.
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:55 pm
big warm hugs to you, penelope. such clear memories are a beautiful treasure. i am glad you have them.
thinking of you.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:46 am
you really touched my heart with your beautiful post, penelope. peace to you, take care.
March 4th, 2008 at 9:27 am
beautiful. so beautiful. thinking of you.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:02 am
Grandpa’s are very special and irreplaceable. I have been where you are and wish you nothing but peace and lovey memories.
March 4th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I believe that every time we think about our beloved that are not with us, their spirits are brighten by it, so keep his memory alive by always writing and thinking about him. Grandparents are indeed, wonderful!
March 5th, 2008 at 5:45 am
I lost my grandfather recently as well and your entry really touched my heart. Thank you for sharing!!
March 5th, 2008 at 7:28 am
wonderful snapshots of what sounds like one awesome grandpa.
March 5th, 2008 at 7:33 am
I too was very close to my grandmother who passed away a little over a year ago. She was the backbone of our family. At my wedding this February I had framed a small picture of her riding her John Deer lawn mower (here favorite pass time) and had placed it on the table next to our guest book. She had mowed her 2 acre lawn 2wice a week for 60 years. Those who knew me would know exactly who and what the picture was about and those who didn’t, I hoped would ask. It was my little tribute. Then, while my wife and I were seated, eating dinner, two familiar arms wrapped around my neck. In one of the hands was the picture of my grandmother. I turned around to my mother who’s face was wet with tears. In an instant, the entire head table was sobbing. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. My grandmother, who I desperately wanted to be at my wedding, well….she was.
My heart goes out to you and your family. Just know that even though their physical being is no longer, their energy lives on.
March 5th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
That was so moving I am smiling not crying….memories are a gift - we should write them down to save forever….oops you just did…Love you Mom
March 6th, 2008 at 8:12 am
tears just ran down my face as you squeezed out my sponge of a heart. grandpas are so wonderful and so are your memories.
March 7th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
What a beautiful, touching tribute. So sorry for your loss. Enjoy your time in stillness.
March 19th, 2008 at 1:52 am
Penny,
So sorry about your loss.
He is and will remain, alive in your stories, memory and heart. I’m sure he is with you forever.
I hope that peace finds you when the waves of grief have subsided a bit.
xo Amy
March 24th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
you are so lucky to have had a grandpa like that. your words made me cry. so beautiful.