continual change
October 29, 2007
My Sacred Life: Day 10
Yoga class always comes right when I need it the most. During the ending meditation my yoga instructor said: “Life is alive… it’s constantly changing and moving. Nothing stays the same. There is no real stability except for the fact that things are not stable. And that’s what makes it life.” And boy, I just laid there and let that sink all the way down into my heart like water through a crack in the sidewalk.
So. true.
Things are once again in flux for Colin and I. I won’t go into too much detail at this time, but I will say that I finally realize that it’s only one aspect of our lives. The rest are stable and supporting us right now as this one end whips around in the wind. And it’s totally okay. Even though this aspect controls so many of the others, it’s still only one part of a whole.
We are actually feeling really optimistic in this instability, seeing this as an opportunity to explore our lives — what we want, what we want to ditch, what’s working and what’s missing. The other night we sat down together and wrote out what our ultimate life looked like (subject to change/addition as we see fit). And it was so fun! We were totally bold and asked for everything we wanted… (a soulful, simple, good, passionate life.) And then after writing it all out, we went through and did the whole thing visually, cutting out pictures and printing images of the things we wrote about. We hung them all up on a wall in our house, creating a visual reminder of our aspirations.
It felt so good to put it out there into the universe. And let it all marinate in the back of our minds while we try to figure out the logistics of the problem at hand. (I think it even helped clarify how we could fix it.)
And somehow it showed me once again that there are always more options that any one can see at any given time. So many different ways to get where you want to be (or maybe where you want to be changes too). And they’re always moving and criss-crossing. There’s no clear way. And it’s okay. It’s the constant changing and the journey that is life. This is what makes it interesting. (But it does help to have a map.)
October 29th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
thank you for sharing this…
that last paragraph resonates deeply with me…so true that having a map is very helpful, but sometimes it is hard to realize we have been carrying one all along.
October 30th, 2007 at 2:58 am
…the map sounds like such a constructive idea, literally and not-literally… really a good idea. your yoga instructor has it so right, change is growing, and growing is good, because being alive isn’t static…fortunately. enjoy following that lovely map!
October 30th, 2007 at 7:13 am
Penelope, you are brave! Me, I am totally in love with my beautiful man, but recently we had one of the “icky, sad, you feel so far away from me” things going on between us. It only lasted a few days, but everything felt dirty and sad. Horrible. We talked, and thought, and discussed (no yelling or screaming at all). On day 3, after an early morning run in the cold Swiss mountain air, the fog in my head lifted. When I got home, the colour had returned, and we were back on track. And in the end, so much good stuff came out of that experience, and we understand each other even better. Best wishes.
October 30th, 2007 at 7:25 am
Amazing, awesome post. I am going to do the same thing tonite. Don’t forget to step back and look at the amazing life you have lead already girl. You art is gorgeous and complex with so much meaning and you inspire so many. YOU have a gift and it is far from just being your artwork.
Keep being YOU. Cause you rock.
October 30th, 2007 at 10:17 am
i love the visual map—we’ve done that several times together, and every time it’s helped us to not only visualize something, but manifest it. ok, so it’s a whole lot of grace (too) that’s mixed in with those intention, but it feels like the visualizing part is a sorta “asking” for that grace…and well, if you don’t ask, it won’t always come. thanks for sharing. i think it’s when we share these things that we help each other a whole lot. xo
October 30th, 2007 at 10:46 am
I love the idea of sitting down to imagine your ultimate life. They say that visualization is half the battle, so you’re well on your way.
October 30th, 2007 at 11:46 am
This is one of my all time favorite songs by The Dave Matthews Band. It’s exactly how I feel about my wife. It tells a lot with so little:
I walk half way around the world,
Just to sit down by your side.
And I would do most anything girl,
To be the apple of your eye.
Troubles they may come and go,
But good times they’re the gold.
And if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.
Any place you wanna go,
Know I’ll be next to you.
If it’s treasure baby you’re looking for,
I’ll search the whole world through.
Know troubles they may come and go,
But good times they’re the gold.
So if the road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.
When the storm comes,
You shelter me.
And I don’t say a word,
And you know exactly what I mean.
In the darkest times,
You shine on me.
You set me free.
And keep me steady as we go.
So if your heart rings dry my love,
I will fill your cup.
And if your load gets heavy girl,
I will lift you up.
Troubles they may come and go,
But good times be the gold.
So if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.
Ah
Hold me,
Shine on me.
Oh, shine, shine,
Shine on me.
Shine, shine
Yeah shine on me.
Hey shine.
October 30th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Yay you! Your life map is beautiful and the whole post is sooo beautifully written. I love the part about one end whipping in the wind, but it being okay. I pictured an Buddha orange ribbon, one frayed end wagging, but the other soundly tethered to the goal post with a love knot.
Gorgeous!
October 30th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Thanks for sharing your sentiments with us. I may have to make a map for myself. Good luck to you and yours with the situation.
October 30th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
I’m always astonished by how much work you do Penelope.
Not only do you illustrate(*probably full time) have and have a relationship, but you manage a huge Blog(*if)and god knows what else.
I recently spotted your work in the website torontoillustrators.com. I didn’t know you were Canadian. I guess i assumed this because i thought Illustration Friday was based in America.
Nontheless.. good luck with everything. And keep up that insanely amount of hard work.
Sincerely,
Ariel
October 30th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
I wish I could see the “wishes” pictures better. I did note the beautiful baby, and my prayers are with you on that.
Love and hugs
YMIL
October 30th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
it’s very bright-warm and “orangy” in color. With some blue-greens and simple blacks - but mostly orange is my impression. Is it a picture adjusted after you took it or that’s how it really is?
thanks a lot for sharing. And good luck with getting over the hump.
November 1st, 2007 at 8:46 am
Nina: at night, it does indeed give off an orange cast… no adjustments made. Orange is good though, right? Energy?
November 1st, 2007 at 10:54 pm
I love envisioning your home filled with inspiring images all over. I have been stewing in that space of Not Knowing for many weeks now, exploring all the possibilities that exist within a few general ideas. I have felt the need to take time to be still with that for a while, but I am slowly beginning to get fired up into action again. I am excited to see where these new openings take you & Colin.
November 5th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
thank you (again).
It’s wonderful, inspiring and brave, how you share your thoughts.