please tell me…
October 16, 2007
My Sacred Life: Day 6
Yesterday flew by. I was restless and unfocused (oh well). But my moment of grace came when my friend Maria texted to ask if I wanted to take a walk around the neighborhood. So we did - she, her daughter and her doggers, and me and Vince. It was chaotic, and we had a really great conversation and she made me laugh out loud. Gotta love that. (I forgot to bring the camera though (oops), so I’m using this old shot of Maria.)
* * * * * * *
I have been thinking a lot lately about where people choose to live, and why. Is it because family is close? Is it because of some feeling you got from a place and you knew you had to live there? Did you marry into a location? Is it because of a job? Is it because the military assigned you there? Is it because you just love your neighborhood and the people there? Is it because there’s a lot to see/do there? Is it for the climate? Is it just coincidence?
Please tell me…Where do you live, and WHY do you live there?
I’d love to hear from you…
October 16th, 2007 at 9:20 am
I married into my location, but I was originally her because my dad was in the military and we were assigned here. I like the neighborhood we are in and I really have no complaints. It does not mean I don’t long for a big city with great shops every now and then or an art story with all kinds of great supplies…
October 16th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Currently I live in Munich, mainly because my husband works here. But ever since I´ve lived in Los Angeles for 3 months I want to move back there. Maybe one day…
:)
October 16th, 2007 at 9:31 am
I live in Watertown, WI. Born and raised. I went to school in Minneapolis, and swore that I would never live in Watertown.
Well, I married my soulmate, and she and I got a house here. It’s a city of about 28,000, has all of the things you need, and is only getting bigger (which kinda sux cause the taxes will go up). AND, most importantly, cheeseburgers can be delivered within minutes!
October 16th, 2007 at 9:56 am
I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. I live here because, when my husband got out of the army, we couldn’t decide whether to live in my hometown- where all of my family is (Rio Rancho, NM)- or live here, where all of his family is. So, we prayed about it. In the end we felt best about coming here. Not long after moving we both found good jobs and have made a good life and home for ourselves. This is where we are supposed to be, that’s why we live here. Great question!
October 16th, 2007 at 9:56 am
Oh, and Mike, I swore I would never live here also!
October 16th, 2007 at 10:04 am
I live in Buenos Aires, Argentina since the day I was born!!! I’ve traveled a lot but I still choose here. This city is amazing with a lot of thing to do.
And, off course, I’ve all my family here that is a very important thing for me!!!
October 16th, 2007 at 10:19 am
I live only 3 miles from where I grew up in Newton, Massachusetts. It wasn’t suppose to happen this way. After college I moved to New York City, a place that fed my soul at that time in my life but I met my future husband and after two years of long distance dating he got me to move back by marrying him. Now, I have 2 teenagers and live in the house he grew up in!!! Doesn’t get much closer to home than that…..
October 16th, 2007 at 11:14 am
I live near Lowell MA, in the house I grew up in. Took a circuitous route there; married a guy in the military, left home and moved to CO. He got his first set of orders…right back to MA. Lived a couple of towns from where I grew up. Divorced, moved to Lowell. Married again, another military guy, moved to Japan. Divorced, moved to Yorktown VA. Was homesick, moved back to MA, in Somerville. Mom ill, moved home to help out, never left. After seeing three generations living together in Japan, I lost that fear of feeling like a loser living with my parents…let’s call it my green contribution ;-)
October 16th, 2007 at 11:17 am
My husband & I were living in Brooklyn when we got engaged. We decided that eventually we would want to start a family but couldn’t afford to live in New York with kids. So we chose a spot halfway between our families - mine in upstate New York & his in New Jersey. We tried West Saugerties, NY (near Woodstock), then New Paltz, and now have been in Kingston for the last 3 years. (All of these towns are in the same area.)
I think, though, that if we could do it over, we might have at least stayed in Brooklyn a little longer. We were just in New York last weekend & really miss it! (We always dream about going back.) But it’s nice that we’re finally in a place that we like where we live too. It definitely took us a while.
October 16th, 2007 at 11:39 am
This is a subject that interests me. I currently live where I do (Virginia) because of a military assignment (my husband is a Marine). When I was a little girl, I lived in Southern California, but my dad took a job overseas and at age 8 we moved to the Middle East! Seems since a very young age I’ve lived where I did because of decisions other people made. I like where I live now, but I’m not sure I would have chosen to live here.
I secretly believe I’m a city girl at heart, though I can’t say for sure, because I’ve always lived in the suburbs.
I hope someday I will have an opportunity to pick where I would like to live just because I want to live there.
October 16th, 2007 at 11:53 am
I live in Helsinki, but want to move to Amsterdam or the Hague. Strangely I feel much more at home in Holland than in Finland… (it’s just a gut feeling, I don’t know how true it is since I’ve only spent about a month in total there).
But it just happens that my dream grad school is in the Hague…
October 16th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
I live in Vancouver BC, Canada. I’ve lived here for 6 years now with the intention of building a career before moving back home to be near my family who I totally adore (I couldn’t find work there after graduation). They live in Saskatoon Saskatchewan - a lovely, artsy, prairie city on the banks of the South Saskatchewan River. Tricky part is, I’ve found myself in this great relationship(the life-long kind) with someone who is not crazy about the idea of moving to the prairies. His family is in Vancouver, but he’s not very close to them. What to do? It’s a bit of a predicament but we are working through it.
October 16th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
I’ve lived in seacoast NH (yes, there is a very tiny piece of the state that is on the coast) for 5 years now. My husband’s family live here and it’s much more rural and (used to be) more affordable than where we lived in the Boston suburbs. It took me some time to adjust to the slightly slower pace and the overly friendly nature of people here. If my husband ever wanted to move for his work, I would gladly follow to London, Hawaii, Oregan, Ireland. Likely, we will forever be New Englanders.
October 16th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
I live North of Boston. I was born in MA but my family moved for a short time to NC. We moved back to MA when I was in high school. I always thought I was going to move somewhere different and explore. My parents moved back down to NC and I always felt I needed to stay for my grandparents who I was so close to and my sister who wanted to stay in MA. Grandparents got ill, needed care, sister got married and started a family, Mom and Dad moved back to MA. There just never seemed to be that right time to move. Now I realize why, I never really ever wanted to explore any place beyond the week long vacation. I travel a lot but am always happy to come home. Home is family, friends, pets and a sense of belonging. I belong in MA. I love it here, although you would never know with all my complaining come January and how cold it is.
October 16th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
I live here (MA) because I was born and raised in this area and my entire family is here.
I would LOVE to live somewhere else, but we enjoy being near everyone. I like that my kids have a close relationship with my parents and sisters/brother. So I guess it’s not going to happen till we get older :)
Also, can’t beat built in babysitters!
October 16th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
I live in Memphis, Tennessee. I was brought here by my parents when I was 10 years old. I was born in California and as a child, lived in Oregon and Kansas. I grew up here, married and had children. I have considered moving many times, but my parents live here, my children live here and my network of business partners and friends. My husbands family members all live near. It is difficult to make a decision to uproot even for the most enticing city.
October 16th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
I live in Melbourne, Australia, because this is where my husband is from. He was expecting to move to the U.S. for my sake, but I kept an open mind. It was an extremely tough decision, because I’m so close to my family in Pennsylvania. Miss them heaps, but have had extended visits with them over the years.
It’s almost exactly 5 years ago that we moved here, after our wedding in my hometown.
(I’d spent 3 months living in Melbourne, prior to marriage, to see how I’d like it.)
We’re going to move to the U.S. eventually, but I’ve grown to love the people, culture and landscape of Australia so much, that we’d definitely keep spending a good amount of time here too.
October 16th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
I now live in Buenos Aires because my boyfriend was relocated to his firm´s local office.
I´ve lived in Macau (China) and Lisbon (Portugal), my true hometown. I love it here in Buenos Aires but one day I want to live in Lisbon again. It´s just where my heart is.
October 16th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
I live in St. Paul, Minnesota. I suppose in part I live here because I grew up in the area, partly because I have family here, as well as friends, but after visiting quite a few cities over the years, I’ve found that I love the city I live in. My wife and I just bought a house about a mile from the apartment we’re about to move out of, and it was a conscious decision to stay in the city and live in a neighborhood that had an older character. We’ve talked about moving from time to time, but as others have noted, it really is hard to pull up the stakes and move on.
Oh, and we live here because of the awesome climate ;) Nothing like -20° weather to make you seriously reconsider where you live.
October 16th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
hmmm, i feel like i have 2 homes, one is in the north of england, where i grew up, where my parents are. the other is here, where i live, in the hills of central italy. i studied here on a one year exchange, ten years ago. then i left. i lived in london for a while, and whilst i was there i came back here on holiday, for a visit, and then i realised that this was the place for me. people assume it was for love, well, in a way it was, but love for the place not for the boy (that came later!). the hills, the countryside, the green, the trees, the space, the old, the buildings, the chilled way of life (not always!), the contact with nature, culture, like-minded people, art, music, things that i need, things that make me feel alive… i felt at home here from the first day i arrived… and i’m really thankful for that, happy with my choice, though it is great to visit england-home too
October 16th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
I live in Edinburgh, Scotland. I am Scottish, but not from Edinburgh - I came here for University and while I love it here I don’t see myself here forever. Maybe I will go and live with nà, above - living in Italy would be wonderful!
October 16th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
I don’t really have a home as such - I’m originally from the UK but in February this year my wife (a writer) and I (a freelance graphic designer currently making the move to freelance illustration) decided to become location independent.
So we sold our flat, put all of our stuff into storage and so far this year have spent 2 months in Panama, 1 month in Buenos Aires, 1 month in Toronto and 5 months (with a 6 week trip back home to the UK) in Grenada in the West Indies (current location) - We are then off to Dubai for a month over Christmas (brother in-law lives there) and then South Africa for 3 months then…who knows - that’s the exciting thing!
It has been a challenge at times (especially finding art materials) but the inspiration from living in so many beautiful, interesting places has been amazing.
P.S. - love the postcards Penelope
October 16th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
wow… what a great term, Jonathan. Location independent. hmmmm… that’s giving me food for thought!
October 16th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
I live in Birmingham, AL. But I wouldn’t dare call it home.
My boyfriend and I are here for a 1-year stint due to his job.
We’ve talked about where to move after this, I’m aiming for North Carolina b/c that is where my family is from. He was initially aiming for Massachusetts (likely Boston) b/c that is where his family is from. I think I’m currently winning the argument b/c Boston is oh so cold and oh so expensive. But I guess only time will tell where we’ll end up next.
But, I guess to answer your question, we’re trying to end up near one of our families…mostly for the future…for when we have kids. I think it is important to have family around for that.
~d
October 17th, 2007 at 4:34 am
I live in Columbus, OH - where my husband grew up. I am from a western suburb of Chicago, and we met at the University of Dayton. I moved out here a year after graduating, and we just got married a couple months ago. My husband is a lawyer, which means if we ever want to move, he would have to take the bar exam again. He is not opposed to it, however, I would need to have a better job, so he could focus on studying all over again.
I have always wanted to move out of the midwest, somewhere warmer.
We have talked about South Carolina, but for now, we are at home in Columbus. The things we do for love :)
October 17th, 2007 at 4:46 am
I live in Asheville, North Carolina. We moved here in April and already feel like it is home sweet home. Asheville has been on my radar for several years (I grew up in NYC but have lived very reluctantly in St. Petersburg, FL for the past 10 years as I am not a beach person and longed for a happy medium of North and South climate and cultures).
Some dramatic changes in my 15 year relationship (divorce) prompted me to get serious about where I wanted to be and what I wanted to create within my life and my family so Clementine (my two year old little girl) and I hopped in the covered wagon and headed to North Carolina! It feels home to us here because of the sense of community, so many young families and it’s hard to beat the beauty and peacefulness that is everywhere you look. If you haven’t been already I invite you to spend some time in the area - you’re not far :) Look at that! You already know two folks in town. I feel like owe you so much for your daily inspiration (I’ve been visiting your site about 3 years now!), I’d love to thank you with a cup of hot chocolate or soup from our favorite local bakery so drop me a line if you ever decide to visit Asheville!
Warmly,
Colleen
October 17th, 2007 at 6:26 am
Interesting to see so many replies and thoughts on this!
I’ve been thinking about this question lately, too, as I would like a change.
I live in London because that’s where my boyfriend can work the most, probably the same goes for me but I would be able to sacrifice that to be closer to family and old friends and move back to Germany (this is my home country).
In Berlin you would get proper winters and proper summers! Plus, can you raise kids on your own without having any roots/family in the country you live in and would I want that? I don’t think I could ever leave Europe (meaning mainland Europe) but with my boyfriend being SAfrican and my fascination for Western States (meaning USA) I can’t be sure what’s going to happen…
WorkFamily
both very important and I think in the end you’ll have to decide between them or make compromises.
October 17th, 2007 at 9:43 am
i’ve lived in wallingford, ct my entire life. by the time i reached eighth grade, i’d lived in five different apartments with my parents and my younger brother. the apartments are all within a three mile radius. i never thought about this as a kid.
my town seems to me equal parts strip mall and green lawns, immense wealth and subtle poverty. we have two bowling alleys, a tattoo parlor, a roller rink, a wal-mart, and a new england boarding school with its own patina.
why do i stay? my parents are old. i could never move now.
October 17th, 2007 at 10:13 am
I live in Los Angeles, CA. I was born in Florida, lived in Connecticut for 6 years and then in Virginia outside of DC for most of my formative years. I moved out here on a whim. I hopped in my bug and drove across the country (something I had always wanted to do). No big plan, I just needed a change from the east coast. It’s where I’m meant to be for now - but I always wonder what will be next. I hear everyone speak of being close to family, but I don’t know if that’s in the cards for me and my husband. We’re drawn to big cities and my family is migrating to the south.
October 17th, 2007 at 10:22 am
’cause I’m from Vermont and I do what I want!
Born and raised in the best, most progressive, most beautiful state in the nation! Come visit, you will love it too! Love your site, read it everyday! I am a blossoming illustrator and am finding much inspiration from IF and you, thanks!
October 17th, 2007 at 10:26 am
I live on the west coast of Florida. I was born and raised not far from from where I now live and my family is here. I love Florida: the beaches, the lovely winters, the relaxed pace of life but I am also tired of Florida. I am tired of the hot-hot summers and some of the residents and the cost of living is getting expensive without any added benefits to make the cost acceptable. So, I am researching new places to live.
October 17th, 2007 at 11:40 am
How serendipitous that you should ask about this today.
We’re just in the process of buying a Dutch Barge to live on and have been frantically trying to find somewhere to put it around the London area. Today things all seem to be coming together. It has been a process whereby we have really had to work out what it is we need from a home, and from the surrounding environment and how far we can stand to commute, and whether it is trees or estuary life we would prefer.
October 17th, 2007 at 11:53 am
I’m intrigued by this subject, too! I’ve been living in Richmond, Indiana for the past five and a half years; I came in part because of a job, but mostly because of a relationship that eventually failed. I’ve stayed because I have a wonderfully supportive community of friends here, and I do love my job, but I still don’t think of Richmond as my “home.” Home is Warriors Mark, Pennyslvania (close to State College), where I grew up in my dad’s grandmother’s house. I always feel like I can breathe a little easier when I’m there, and it is my go-to place when I need to be reminded of who I really am. My closest friends (with whom I went to kindgergarten) still live in the area, and all are married with children. I’ve recently married, and I dream of returning there. Someday…
October 17th, 2007 at 11:58 am
Hmm…that’s so interesting Jennifer.
Do you guys think that “home” is where you can feel yourself breathing easier? The place where you feel you are truly YOU?
October 17th, 2007 at 11:59 am
And Lorna, you live on a boat? How awesome!
October 17th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
My husband and I live with my parents not in my childhood home, but only a few blocks from where I grew up in a suburb of Chicago. (Although we are less than a mile from the city limits) We both want to see the country before deciding where to put our roots. For now Chicago will do, though I am not a city person by any means.
October 17th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
For me, home is a complicated question. My husband and I both grew up in Cleveland - so that’s home #1. We live in Boston now - home #2. My parents moved to Michigan - home #3. As I get older though, I realize two things: First, that I miss the place where I grew up and feel pulled back there - and to the family and memories that reside there. The second is that “home” is where my husband and dog are. Even though Boston has never felt like my “place”, its home since it is where my most important people are (yes, I am counting my dog as a person!) - were we are a family.
October 18th, 2007 at 3:02 am
And I thought the way I ended up where I am was special! I live in beautiful Luxembourg, mostly because this is where I work. Why I ended up finding work in Luxembourg, however, is a love story involving meeting future-husband in Belgium and me having to return to my home country of Finland at some point, and eventually settling on a compromise: neither one of us has family here. But what a wonderful compromise it is! We decided to stay here for life, and so bought a house in the countryside next to some amazing forests which I enjoy every single day on my way to work. Truly happy about the location, although visiting the family back home is complicated.
October 18th, 2007 at 3:02 am
I live in the suburbs of Ljubljana, Slovenia. I grew up here and as I have a job in the same city it is the easiest way that I live here. I am sure that when I am retired (if ever) I will move to one of the smaller towns in the Alpine area of Slovenia.
October 18th, 2007 at 5:37 am
I live in Pittsboro, NC where I moved 2 years ago to be closer to family. After living outside Philadelphia, PA for 9 years, I got tired of the corporate world and decided to go into business with my father. I absolutely LOVE it here, but I’ve never lived anywhere more than 10 years so we’ll see if I’m still here in 8!
October 18th, 2007 at 11:14 am
I live in Hattiesburg, Mississippi because life was too much for me and my husband and wee ones in New Orleans after Katrina. We miss our old lives with every beat of our hearts and sometimes it keeps us from letting down any roots in our new home. The old city will draw us back one day. In the meantime, we truly do love our old home on an acre of land with a barn - right downtown. New Orleans will come back, and we will return home one day again.
October 18th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
I moved to Boston two years ago. I spent most of my life in the mountains of VA, in which I acredit my muse. My husband got a job opp. up here & so we came. It’s been a big adjustment, but it’s really starting to feel more like home now. I miss my family though… But, have found that I have stronger realtionships with other friends here that don’t have family near.
October 20th, 2007 at 8:44 am
i was born in dublin, ireland, and so that is home to some degree, though i have never felt very irish as neither of my parents were irish-born. growing up i had of course irish friends, but seemed always to associate more with people like me, with non-irish features and a more wide-stretched family backgrounds. i left ireland after college, and have since then lived in London & Paris, both for work reasons. I feel that my heart is as much in Paris as Dublin, probably more - the exhilaration i feel walking the streets of this city is unparalleled! But now work opportunities have me moving to Australia, and luckily my loved one will be coming with me. I’m looking forward to it, but feel guilty to be moving so far from my family on this side of the world. Maybe one day family and work will be in the same place, though im not sure if i will find the same inspiration from such a settled and known place?
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:51 pm
I was born in Hull (Ottawa region) Canada, move to Montreal suburbs in my teen. I currenlty live in Montreal. My heart is in Reykjavik, Iceland. I lived there for one month as an exchange student, return 2 years later with my bestfriend and my boyfriend and I just came back from a week full of fresh air and nice music. My family and co-workers thinks I’m weird about that. Iceland should be called lavaland, licoriceland or paprikaland. 1.Winter is way colder in Montreal then overthere. 2.They looooove licorice. They have candybars with licorice covered in chocolat, popsicles and hardliquor. 3.They put paprika everywhere: chips, hamburger, mayo even mix it with the salt shaker. I, sometimes, think I’m a bite weird about it but Iceland makes me happy and you don’t mess with happiness. ;)
October 24th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Both my husband and I are native Texans, living in Las Vegas. And we like it here. I’m frequently asked what it’s like living in a town built on tourism and my answer is usually a variation of “It’s like being in on the joke” or like being backstage. We know what goes into making the illusion. Living here doesn’t mean we’re on vacation every day - the suburbs are like most suburbs except for the slot machines at the gas station. And, currently, the job market is good for both of us, which keeps us here. Not to mention being close enough to family to visit them, but far enough away that their nuttiness doesn’t intrude too much on our daily lives. (”Happiness is having a loving close family . . . in another city”). World class dining and shopping to boot.
Plus? The part that most people don’t bother to see because they don’t leave The Strip when they are here? MOUNTAINS! Yes, it’s a desert, and we’re surrounded by mountains — and it amazes me that NO ONE seems to realize this, even after visiting. Hee. The quality of light playing on the crags makes the mountains completely different at different times of the day. It amazes me daily - no exaggeration.
AMK
October 24th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
I live in Canberra, Australia - about 2000 kilometres from my homeland which is Proserpine - a small country town of 4000 people surrounded by lush green canefields and mountains. Proserpine is in the Northern part of Australia, and the tropical ocean, Great Barrier Reef and 90 islands are nearby.
I lived in Proserpine all my life, but felt sure I would leave to travel the world and meet my soulmate and maybe eventually go back there. When I was 18 I met Him in Proserpine, which surprised me so much… I thought I’d have to journey everywhere to find him but he was right there. When I was 19 we decided we needed a change, and decided to move to Canberra which is an alpine city in the southern part of Australia. By contrast to Proserpine, it is 2 hours from the sea, and is in the mountains. It has 300 000 people. Why here?
Neither of us had ever been here before. Pure adventure. We heard it was a nice place, so we did it. That was almost 5 years ago and we don’t regret our choice at all. I live here because it is beautiful land, I have made incredible and sacred connections here, I have the space to be who I am - goddess, artist, writer, life lover and slight eccentric. People are open here, lifestyle is good, work is easy.
I do miss my homeland and my family… I would love to be near them when I decide to have babies… but that adventure will unfold all in its own time :)
right now, things are so very beautiful and perfect.
big love,
leonie
xoxo
October 25th, 2007 at 11:01 pm
I live in Vancouver, BC. I grew up in Ireland, at 17 went to Hamburg, Germany for 2 years, back to Ireland for 2 years and moved to Toronot at 22. Two month later I got hired with a major airline who based me in Vancouver for the Summer. I felt like I had come home…found my roots if you know what I mean..it was just so right. I had planned on moving back to Toronto to be near my sister but once I arrived here I knew I wanted to stay. Was transfered to Winnipeg Manitoba for a few months but then transfered back to Vancouver and have been here now for 28 years. Love living here…but love to travel too and I LOVE going home to Ireland but happy not to live there…maybe in retirement we will spend more time there?
I could happily live in Thailand too …LOL
Great question…interesting answers.
October 29th, 2007 at 11:33 am
I live in Cologne, Germany, because I was born quite nearby and I studied here. I often thought of moving to another city or better: to another country at least for a few years, but I never made it. I’d love to be in Italy or in New York (I know, it’s a clichee but I really wonder how it would be to live there).
My family is pretty close and now that I have a child myself it’s even more important to stay.
I guess, why I’m here is: Cologne is a very good place to live, I love my home, the network of friends and the business-network I built here. My husband feels the same (about both staying and moving), we will see…
November 1st, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I live in Florianópolis, a medium city in South of Brazil. But now I think that the violence here is bigger and I’m not felling so well. My husband and I decided to move to a country city near by nature.