What can you soften?
May 16, 2007
What can you soften?
This is a question that my yoga instructor asks frequently during our classes. We’re in a tough pose and arms are tense, muscles tight, jaw clenched and she asks: “What can you soften? What can you do to make it more comfortable and have it be a good sensation?”
And that question always makes me look really closely at all my contorted limbs and shift ever so slightly until it feels good. A shoulder moves a fraction of an inch… I loosen my jaw… or I bend my knees just a little bit. And suddenly I can just be there without discomfort. Often softening something that small makes a big difference.
I’ve also started asking myself that question during my daily life. What can I soften… I’ll be sitting in my studio chair working on a new piece and that question will float into my mind and I’ll notice that my shoulders are tight and raised up to my ears. And I drop and soften them. Or I’ll notice that I’m squinting or have my eyebrows pulled down into a scowl as I read my book. And remembering that question makes me let go of those muscles in my face.
But I am also finding that that question can be asked for more than just the physical. What can you soften in your life?
Softening for me sometimes means letting go of my rush and not being impatient with the lady who’s counting coupons in the grocery store line in front of me. How can I soften there? There are magazines to read while I wait, maybe. Or I can remember that she’s just trying to save some money… no big deal if I wait an extra 3 minutes.
Softening could also mean being kinder. Kinder to other people (not giving a dirty look to the girl with shorts that are much too short… hee) or kinder to yourself. The license plate on our car is very expired (by months) and it was giving me a headache and pissing me off every time I thought about it… all those hoops you have to jump through to get a new license plate in a new state. So I asked Colin if he could take care of that for us. And he was happy to. (Well, not *happy* to, but he wasn’t opposed to it). So maybe softening in that case meant asking for help.
This week, softening for me means taking time for myself. I’m finally going at a good pace with work (not too too much at the moment) and instead of putting pressure on myself to do something productive with my free time (like self-promo or something for Illustration Friday or preparing for my next show) I’ve been taking *me* time. A nap outside on the porch. A trip to the farmer’s market. Cake-tasting with a friend (!)… For me, that’s a huge softening, seeing as I normally kick my ass to work harder.
So anyway… my point is that there’s always something to soften. The more I think about this question, the more I love it and find more that it affects.
hmm…. my brain is going now. I think this is something so important for myself… I think I’ll bookmark this entry as a reminder to soften. soften. soften.
What can you soften?
May 16th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
This is such a beautiful post and the words..what can you soften…are like a soft whisper in my ear. I’ll be hearing it everytime I feel my muscles tighten and everytime my day feels sad or long or overwhelming. Thank you for sharing this.
May 16th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
definitely the muscles in my face and my squinty eyes while i paint and ALWAYS for sure my shoulders in downward dog, my judging mind toward me and my art or the neighbor kids who visit and get into EVERYTHING, TIME for sure–soften that clock and knowing life is too short to work all the time, oh and definitely my whole being can soften everyday with a soak in the hot tub lookin up at the mountains and the clouds and stars and moon. such a nice post. i think i’ll write that question on my wall in my studio. xojenny
May 16th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
great post. i think the whole world could use a bit of softening sometimes.
~d
May 16th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
oh, and i love the artwork too!
May 16th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
thanks you for this…what a beautiful reminder
May 16th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
I appreciate the suggestion to soften both on the physical and the spiritual plane. I can soften my shoulders and my neck and my upper spine. I often feel like Atlas trying to hold the whole world up. On a spiritual plane I can soften exactly the things you mentioned. The shorty short shorts or the overly loud laugh of someone in a restaurant. I can soften my princess-and-the-pea sensitivity to store clerks who crowd me. What a magic wand you have handed over! I like the image that you created. Exhale.
May 16th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
I always look forward to clicking on the “penelope” link
in my blog folder. Today was even better when I was hit in
the face (well, not really, but you know…) by the new
banner and the dandelion fluff. The icing on the cake was
a really great post that I can completely relate to.
Thanks, for always sharing your inspiration and good vibes.
May 17th, 2007 at 2:05 am
Thank you for another great post and another great illustration. You are such a good inspiration, both through your illustration work and what you write and share with us. I’ll surely be thinking about this question often.
May 17th, 2007 at 6:11 am
can i agree with the first eight comments in that your posts are always so good to read? they are! well, i need to soften my brow, as i often catch myself squinting in the sun. sometimes i get the feeling i need to physically unsoften, or toughen, as well, as in when i catch myself slouching my shoulders, or i remember the lack of arch in my flat feet! but these are little exceptions, softening is usually the best - physically and philosophically! i like the painting updates too, by the way! have a good day!
May 17th, 2007 at 6:35 am
beautifully said and I like your new banner!
May 17th, 2007 at 8:35 am
Your blog is always such a pleasure to read. Thanks for the reminder about softening, it really is something we all can do.
May 17th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Love the post! I’m going to remember this when I’m anxious….I think it will help me to relax. :)
May 17th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Oh how I love this post. You are such a joy to have in my life.
May 17th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
[...] more thing I want to share tonight, before surrendering to the lure of untroubled dreams. Or [...]
May 18th, 2007 at 7:00 am
Wow, Thank you so much for this. My friend from New Orleans shared this with me, and I as I read it, it reminded how I had to ’soften’ my midwestern self when I moved to New Orleans. You just have to when you live in a hot, humid, slow, and southern city. Now I am back in Indianapolis and find myself being impatient and generally more uptight. Thanks for a reminder to soften. Life can be so much easier that way.
May 18th, 2007 at 9:38 am
this is beautiful!
May 19th, 2007 at 6:32 am
great post! I think this is something we all need to be reminded of every day..
May 19th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
bless you woman :)
May 20th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
As I read this I realized that my shoulders were up at my ears, my face lifting off its bones…so I took a breath and softened. Softness is a wonderful reminder…especially to be softer with the hardest parts of ourselves.
{also love the image, perfect since dandelions are one of the things I need to “soften”.}
May 20th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
I realized that my address has had a comma instead of a period, so was reading an error…um,,, breathe! :-)
May 20th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile and I just couldn’t help myself from commenting on this post. I’ve been pulling 14 hour days lately from work and school and am kind of stressed because I haven’t had any time to relax or really focus on anything else…so this is just what I needed to hear. Thank you, thank you for this blessed reminder.
May 22nd, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Yup, you hit the nail on the head, I am going to ask myself that question everytime I get annoyed or stressed about things… I am just in the process of finishing a Foundation Course in Art and Design and we are at the final show stage (see blog) and I am GIVING MYSELF so much stress for nothing, so tomorrow all I have to is go to college and empty my locker and then ‘I’ am going to soften for the rest of the day. Why do we put ourselves under so much stress when things really don’t matter that much! I keep thinking how do the parents of the little girl who has gone missing in Portugal feel, and then things get back into perspective… We must make time for ourselves without feeling guilty about it and just chill a little more
Take care
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:40 pm
I had a yoga teacher who used to say in the tough ones, “find something you like about this pose”. It always helped me shift focus from my trembling thigh, or aching shoulder to the way my legs felt strong, or my spine felt supple and long.
I love the new banner!!!
May 28th, 2007 at 6:23 am
I really like your blog, I stumbled over it today when I googled “schmooze” (don’t ask me why), and came across an old entry from 2005 that I really could relate to: http://www.penelopeillustration.com/blog/?m=200511
Also thanks for today’s beautifully written post, I’m definitely going to think about what I can soften in my daily life!
Regards from a rainy Stockholm :)
May 28th, 2007 at 8:28 am
lovely…i could soften the grip on my pencil and the my continuously working thoughts..:)
June 1st, 2007 at 9:24 am
Beautifully articulated (and I love your work).
August 25th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Clearly late, but wonderful post nonetheless. I’ve learned so many great lessons from yoga!
September 2nd, 2007 at 8:18 am
[...] I have not moved much forward. As time goes by, I re-play Penelope’s post in my mind. What can you soften? I ask myself several times a day. I’m stiff and tense, it’s my jaw, shoulders, neck, [...]