grace
August 25, 2006
During a phone conversation yesterday with a few of my friends, I told them how stressful this time right now is for me… Worried about the house selling (no bites yet), busy sorting and packing all our belongings, working on a bunch of really fun assignments (had a good drawing day yesterday… I needed that!), having to get out of the house at the drop of a hat for a showing… They asked me what I would like to be held accountable for in the next month. Something I would like to be/have/manifest in the next month that they could ask about and hold me to.
And the first thing that came to mind was “grace”. I wanted to move through this period of stress with grace… look back and be able to be proud of myself for keeping it all together seamlessly, trusting that it would all work out the way it was supposed to, and even trying to enjoy this time. Move through it elegantly.
So far I’ve been doing a rotten job. I’ve only been focusing on the scary parts (not selling our house for a long time, not being packed when the movers come, etc) and glossing over all of the exciting parts (discovering a new city, moving into an apartment we’ve never even seen, having different adventures, making new friends). And I’ve been so busy that I’ve stopped walking and doing yoga because I can’t seem to squeeze them into my days (and they are SO important!).
Yesterday I make a pact with myself to stop this madness. To relax and let it be. To trust.
So last night, with this in mind, I went out to the lake with Colin and Matt. They were going out to work on Matt’s boat and asked me to come along. I was wanting to decline so I could stay home and pack (and revel in my stress), but instead I said okay and packed up my book and some bug spray.
When we got out to the lake I rolled up my jeans and sat on the dock dangling my feet in the warm water and just read. What a luxury to sit down and do nothing but read…
They wrapped up their work after the sun went down and it was dark enough to see stars, and we decided to take the boat out for a bit. The water was black and peaceful, and the breeze was warm. So we decided to get in and swim. It’d been a long time since I swam at night (since high school I think) and jumping in was like a baptism. I felt completely regenerated and free. All those cares sank to the bottom of the lake as I felt myself let go and just be in the moment for once…
It was heaven.
August 25th, 2006 at 9:04 am
Wow! I just wanted to say your post really hit home for me. I hope that is part of the
joy of creating your blog: that your words might help or inspire others. What you said
about moving with grace through stressful times is like a lightbulb going off over my head.
And also the part about concentrating on the good and trusting that everything will
work out in the end.
I really needed to hear that right now. Thank you so much for sharing your struggles
so that your readers might find their own magic in your words.
Good luck with the move and selling the house.
August 25th, 2006 at 9:42 am
Penn
I’m glad you got to relax for awhile.
I am the same way always stressing having to constantly remind myself to relax.
Just keep working on it everyday, that is all we can do.
August 25th, 2006 at 11:12 am
if only we could keep that feeling of freedom and rejuvination with us everyday, imagine what life would be like! good luck with all you have on your plate right now and trust that it will all work in the end. there will be bumps along the way but that is all they are. you are an amazing couple to take on this journey and how lucky for your brother and sister in law to have you there during this mind bending time.
best wishes
Christine
August 25th, 2006 at 1:45 pm
Thank you for this. It’s so easy to get tangled in the details. I always feel like if i just work a little harder, it will finally be all “done”. But of course that’s not ever possible and all you do is burn yourself out.
You are such an inspiration!
August 26th, 2006 at 12:56 am
Wow, sounds great. Even reading about it is calming :)
August 26th, 2006 at 3:11 pm
There’s that whole other kind of moving through life with an idea of grace that’s all about forgiveness, second chances and the idea that things will probably get better. . .
August 26th, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Hi! I think you’re doing everything very elegantly. The great illustrations you’re producing and the fact that you’ve already identified the good things about all this moving and changing period, just proves it! I’m a regular visitor of your blog, so to make visiting easier, I’ve decided to link you to my own. I hope you don’t mind?…
August 30th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
ah the healing of water…….it is really great to see you learning to manage the stress of life….big plus- we can’t and shouldn’t try to control all aspects of our lives….oops happens, and then usually something good does….love you Mom
September 6th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
There is something magical about sitting on the edge of a dock, dangling toes amd feet into the water, isn’t there?