ahimsa and spiders
Yesterday I walked into Veda’s nursery to put her down for a nap. I laid her down in her crib and then went over to the window to close the drapes. I reached up and saw a big gray-brown spider staring back at me. He jerked a little bit and I winced and yanked my hand back. And then I didn’t know what to do…
In yoga, the first Yama (ethical rules) is Ahimsa. Ahimsa means non-violence. And at first glance that may sound like an easy thing to do… not be cruel toward fellow human beings. But Ahimsa goes beyond that: it requires harmlessness and not causing pain to any living creature in thought, word or deed. Including spiders.
If all things are connected as part of this beautiful creation… then spiders are part of that, too. Right? So how could I mindfully kill this creepy hairy fanged beast that might potentially bite my daughter’s toe in her slumber and cause her legs to swell up and fall off?
And of course, Veda was watching me from her crib. So if I went off and started wailing on the thing, she would’ve taken note in her little baby brain that it’s ok to smash little creatures. And later I’d have to battle with the distinction that it’s ok to kill spiders, but it’s not ok to even slightly smack the dog or step on the kitty’s tail? We want to teach respect and ahimsa for all life.
So, while all this was sweeping through my mind, I glanced back at Veda for a second and then looked back to the spider and he had disappeared… making my decision easy, but also creeping me out and making me swear that it was in my pant leg. In my hair. In my shoe. Eep!
Keeping a calm exterior, I closed the drapes and checked to see if I could spot the spider anywhere. And when I couldn’t, I left the room so Veda could nap.
So I ask you: Is yours a family that kills spiders on sight? Or are you of the catch-and-release party?
I´m so sorry to say I kill mosquitoes! But all other flying beings, I try to invite them out the window with a piece of paper. Sometimes it works. :)
I never kill spiders… I think of them as good luck for the house… let them be if they are tiny…. if they are big & scary then I ask my husband to catch and release them outside peacefully ;)
After reading this, I feel a bit guitly admitting that I kill any type of “pest” that I find in my home. I suppose you could say I’m a bit OCD and pests make my house feel dirty. I guess the need to kill them stems partially from a fear I have of creepy crawly things and also from watching my Mother do it. Now I think that perhaps Zoe will do the same if she’s watching me murder little bugs. I have a hard time because it’s difficult enough for me to kill the thing myself, to get that close to it. I’m not sure that I could be close long enough to remove it from my home. This post has given me something to think about…
It totally depends on what kind of spider it is. The super poisonous kind, the brown recluse, or the brown widow that has recently invaded San Diego—-I would kill. They are *dangerous*–otherwise, I let them hide without worry.
Well, I will be the one that says that we kill spiders in our house. I am not familiar with the spiders in this region and don’t know what the poisonous ones look like. We have taught the girls which insects to kill and which ones to leave alone. Crickets, rolly polly bugs and ants are all OK in our book. The girls like the good bugs and tend to want to play with them. If they see a spider they come and get Jorge or me.
But, to each their own, right?
Oh, even though I HATE spiders, I do really like your drawing.
I catch and release, but I am the only one in the family who does. Despite my admonitions and protests, the others whack ‘em if they find them first.
i guess my first reaction is to kill since i grew up in the country of dangerous red back spiders but lately i just let them be or hint at my husband to do something by telling him where the spider is
Spiders are weavers, so they stay. Roaches are asked to leave. I give them a warning. Sometimes two and then…….. I have a thing with mice. I like them until they eat my chocolate or get into the bag of pretzels. Fortunately they’ve decided they don’t like my papillon.
I love the illustration!
http://www.leevalley.com/us/garden/page.aspx?c=&p=56114&cat=2,51555&ap=1
I HIGHLY recommend purchasing one of these. I am very afraid of spiders, but I am a catch and release person. I believe in kindness to all living things and I try to be as cruelty free as I can. And with the spider catcher, I now (almost) look forward to finding a spider because I love using the thing. Catching them in a glass and sliding a piece of paper underneath works too, but with this I can keep my distance!
i actually love spiders. i talk to many of them and cried when my sister was visiting once and killed this one particular one that i told a lot of secrets to. i mostly catch them and put them into a house plant figuring that is a good place to find bugs and it seems like a fun place to be for a spider. BUT, if it’s a Black Widow, which we have had in our house before, i get patrick to catch her, and then i oooooh and ahhhh at her from behind the glass wall of the mason jar before we take her into the woods OUTSIDE. that said, years before, when i lived in the city instead of the mountains, i didn’t love them. i didn’t smash them, but i didn’t love them either.
I watched a show where a mental lady had pet earthworms in holes she had dug in her arms. She had names for them. When she went to the hospital for the infection, they removed them and put them in individual urine specimen cups with a little dirt inside. Now that was too much. I have to smash cockroaches here in SC in my house. I simply can’t do it any other way.
I’m too terrified if spiders to kill them. In our old home in Canada, we only had small back ones in our house (the leg span of a penny). My rule for them was that if they were on the ceiling and stayed there, I’d leave them alone (as long as they weren’t above where I was sitting). But if they ended up on the wall, I’d trap them in our ‘spider catcher’ (although mine was different than the one mentioned in the above post) and take it outside.
I then moved to the UK, and our flat had much bigger spiders than I was used to and they really scared me. I didn’t have a spider catcher so I’d make my husband kill them for me. Fortunately I only saw 3 in the 6 months we lived there, and that was more than enough
I think watching my mom smash everything including lady bugs (please!) has made me the opposite. I catch and release spiders and everything else. I even like having spiders around. I found a children’s book at a thrift store, Be Nice to Spiders. It’s old school, but my kids like it. They kill all the spiders at the zoo and suddenly the animals are bombarded by other bugs and are miserable. But…I do get really freaked out when it comes to scorpions, and we have plenty of those where I live in Texas. I once knew a “natural” pest control guy who would write a note to the offending bug on beams, etc. outside the house. Things like, “Please go away, termites!”, “Please go away, scorpions!”, etc. He swore that just asking them to leave would do the trick. While I appreciate his technique, and even though I realize it’s all about intention, I still catch myself giggling at the notion of scorpions knowing how to read!
I have to say I kill flies…I never kill spiders, because when they are very little, I am not scared of them…and when they are big and hairy (!) I execrate them too much and am too frightened to kill them. I don´t even want to imagine what the smashed insides would look like…
In my parents house, we had often a big garden spider in the woodshed. I always forgot about it when I was a child and I think it happend to me a thousand times that I entered the woodshed without looking and then had the big spider net in my face, in my hair…and the big big spider just right in the middle of my face!
Love your illustration!
Oh, we’re bug killers in my house I’m afraid. I worry about spider bites and bacteria and disease from roaches and ants, so everything gets exterminated. I believe that potential for bodily harm is more important than being kind to pests. I know that sounds horrible, but I live in Florida, so I don’t have many other options. I seal all cracks, holes or possible areas of entry, and anything that’s outside lives happily. Anything that comes in to my house gets it.
I’m just not zen enough to live peacefully with creepy crawlies in my house. Maybe in my next life.
we’ve cultivated the “calmly catch and then release” attitude, and now our three year old daughter calmly notices the various bugs that enter our house somehow and tells us we need to throw them outside so they can go to the grass. i did smash a mosquito once, and then had to explain that the mosquito would have bitten us during the night. and that was complicated. but life isn’t perfect, is it?
I used to be a catch and releaser of spiders until I had a baby. I have to say my protective instincts have taken over. We have had black widows around our house and I gave them a chance until my baby started walking. I hired out their killing which I guess still counts as wishing them harm. It’s a hard call. So I try not to kill anything that won’t kill my offspring.
With the MAJOR exception being wasps & anger stinging things of the like, I am the catch and release sort. Of course I’ve no babies running around…
Just this week I made a “spider ladder” for the spider stuck in my bathtub (out of toilet paper). I can’t bring myself to touch them, so I try to set things up so they can escape my house by themselves.
This one got himself out of the bath, and now I keep catching sight of him manically running around different rooms of the house. He is not heading for the open windows no matter how I try to explain. He makes me laugh – I keep imagining him waving his little spider hands in the air screaming “I’m free! I’m free!” every time he runs past.
Most flying insects will leave if you ask them politely, I have found. (And if you open the door & switch off the lights.)
catch and release with the exception of moths and cockroaches! It depends where you live as well and whether it’s a pest situation or just the odd spider…I’m never bothered by any insects or lost critters in my parent’s house which is in the countryside, but in a big city these things get scary.
But spiders are fine and I don’t like the sight of a dead spider…!
Beautiful painting!
catch and release…mostly :0
We’re a house divided.
both, but watch out for the bites!
btw/ has your house sold yet?
come move into my neighborhood!! in indianapolis on the north side of town.
catch-and-release. kirian found an earwig on the floor this morning and i gently picked it and took it outside. i should have taken him with me so he could see. you are right – they are watching everything we do.
I dust-bust em
and dump outside
it’s cleaner…..
but still creepy…
Catch and release- a glass jar or something and a hard paper to cover the top- then put outside. I learned it from my maternal grandmother. I never forgot the time my other grandmother found a baby slug on the firewood and threw it into the fire. It made me sad. There is an exception though- mosquitoes and flees get squished.
Nice illustration!
just talked to, and caught a male black widow in my studio while looking for the pedal to my sewing machine! he was very nice and cooperated and is now outside. amen for that!
I’m all catch-and-release. :)
I use to not mind spiders running around until I moved to California and was warned about black widow spiders lurking in dusty corners… so I now I’m pretty aggressive about it– because I wouldn’t want to chance it.
Luckily I haven’t seen too many spiders…
[...] think some of this overlaps a little with yogic philosophy. Stuff like: Being present. Non-harming (ahimsa). Aparigraha (non-possessiveness… or limiting possessions to what is necessary or important). [...]