Subscribeonly one course of action
Hope your week is going well so far…
Last night was the worst bedtime in Veda history. And all I gotta say is that we survived and we’re all still standing. (Well, Veda stands only with support, but we’ll count it.) Poor little bean. I know she’ll out grow this soon, but right now, this is just hard! The rest of the time she’s such a happy girl. It’s just bedtime that’s rough. — And nope, unfortunately swaddling doesn’t work (thank you for the suggestion!). Nothing does really… The only thing you can do is just give her more and more love until she eventually soothes.
It reminds me of what my old creative director said to me once: He said that you can’t really fight the client when they kill your good/creative/smart ideas. You can’t persuade them to like it. You can’t make them change their minds. And you can’t sit around and dwell on it. (Pouting!) All you can do is come back with more ideas. Bigger and better solutions until eventually something does go through that the client likes and that you are still proud of. This is your only course of action as a professional.
Same thing with Veda. You can’t really talk her out of her cries. You can’t get mad. And you certainly can’t just pout about it. You just gotta give her more and more love. And it’s always amazing how it never runs out.
Inevitably, your patience can wear a bit thin at times… (it doesn’t happen often, thankfully, but I admit it does happen). But I learned a trick: when you’re running out of patience, one sure fire way to refill your well is to look at yourself holding the baby in the mirror. Something about taking one step away from yourself and becoming an outside observer for a second makes you realize how big and capable you are and how little and helpless she is. And instantly you can handle anything. At least, it’s worked for me.
We’ll be past this soon. And then I’ll stop crabbing about it here. :) (Sorry about that. It’s on my mind though.)
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Totally off-subject, but I also wanted to mention that Leonie is offering another e-course! This time she paired up with professional organizer and simplifer Lisa Baldwin to do a course all about divine decluttering and space clearing — So you can make your own home feel like a zen den. (Think: simplifying your space for more goodness to squeeze into your life!) Learn more about the course here. I think it sounds like fun. :)
oh poor miss Veda. i’m sorry mama. that must be so hard… i do agree on the one step back mirror thing — i’ve done that and felt the same. and i love the way motherhood has filled me and surprised me with endless patience, energy, love, etc. it’s the coolest thing. i’m sending Veda some sweet sleepytime thoughts. xoj
Have no advice whatsoever to offer, but still I wanted to send a lot of love in the shape of a comment.
Have a good weekend and I hope this stage ends soon.
NO advice here either.We went through the same thing with our son. He had terrible bedtimes the first several months of his life. Nothing seemed to help except for putting him in our bed and snuggling…which turned into a habit. Good for you for keeping a good attitude about it. It’s so hard, but doesn’t last forever.
Keep up the good work!
You’re doing great. Just keep telling yourself “This, too, shall pass.” I’ve been a mom for 14 years now and still have to repeat that line in my head (teenagers, OY!). Good on you for handling this phase of Veda’s with grace and love.
Great advice, Penny, you’re doing wonderfully! Warm thoughts going out to little Veda, hoping she finds the sleep she needs soon :)
I liked your idea about looking in the mirror. I will be interested to try it when this time comes around.
I *love* your idea of looking at yourself & Veda in the mirror. Such wise and tender words! You are
such a wonderful mama, did you know that?
I miss you, miss.
Okay–I am going to pass this on to everybody–wonder if we were to look at ourselves in the mirror while arguing, whining, fussing, whatever, if we would simply dissolve into giggles at how silly we look?!!? hmmmm. there’s definitely an angle here for tween/teenagers….love your insight Penny! xxoo
I sometimes rock my 4wk old in front of an uncurtained window at night, I can see us together and it does make it feel a bit better. I don’t know if it was my caesar or what, but I find that I don’t have a lot of stamina for walking around with him, but I can rock :-)
When I was a little girl I used to run to the mirror whenever I cried… I’m not sure why.
Hi – I’ve been following your blog since…. I don’t know 2003 perhaps ;-)
Anyway I just wanted to point you in the direction of this baby-wearer forum (in case you do not know it already): http://www.thebabywearer.com/ – I have used slings with all my 3 children and they have really saved the day quite often in our house.
Thanks for some great reads over the years :-)
Being able to step back and appreciate how hard it is for our little ones can make all the difference for a mama (+ papa) during challenging times.
It may not be any help but I want to share two things that made a difference for us. At 10 weeks I took my daughter to an osteapath for treatment (her neck would audibly crack quite often – during her birth she was stuck and pushed by her head back for the cesarean), and it also improved her sleep. I also found this music really supported her sleep, bringing us all a little more peace. These were not a magic fix, and we still had difficulties, but they both had a noticeable and positive effect.
Wishing you some peaceful nights, soon :).
Have you ever tried essential oils for the bedtime problem? “Tranquil” by Young Living is supposed to work really well on fussy babies. I have never tried it with my daughter, but I know several people who have, and they swear by it!