SubscribeUnfortunately, Veda, your mama don’t dance and your daddy don’t rock n roll.
I don’t dance. I’ll just start with that. I’ve tried, mind you. Many a-time I’ve tried to get up on the dance floor and shake my groove thang. But, um, my groove thang just doesn’t shake all that well. Never has, really.
Middle school dances left me sitting on the bleachers waiting for my mom to pick me up. And prom was pretty much the same thing, although, I could drive myself home by that point. And then as an adult, weddings… oy. When the electric slide starts up, I generally start shimmying toward the car.
I’ll do the slow dancing though. The simple step to one side and then step to the other. Or just stand there and do the hug-n-sway. That I can do. I’m really good at that… at least my husband thinks so. (I, fortunately, married a man who can’t cut a rug either, so it works out nicely.)
Oh, I also do a mean chicken dance when entirely intoxicated. But that’s about it.
No, I just don’t have the sexy wiggly hips and the ability to let the rhythm take over that some people seem to. And I’m ok with that… now.
In college I lived in Florida with my roommate, Lilly, who definitely had dancing down pat. She was from St Maarten and had rhythm coming out her eyeballs. One night she wanted to go out dancing and I had to admit that I couldn’t dance and would rather do something else that evening… (my calculus homework? get a tooth pulled? slam my hand in a door repeatedly?). But she was pretty insistent, so we got dressed up and went out anyway. We danced our hearts out for a couple of hours and then took a break to get a drink. And as we were sitting there sweating and sipping, she turned to me and said in her broken english island accent, “Yah Pen, you’re right… you really can’t dance,” and I was totally and utterly mortified. (Had she been thinking that the whole time we danced?!) But I laughed as I sat there blushing and told her that I’d told her so.
And I really haven’t danced since.
Until last week, when my sister asked me to do a zumba class with her. (My sister is a born dancer… she’s graceful, care-free and has those wiggly hips to boot.) She said that she’d do a yoga class with me which is outside of her comfort zone, if I’d do a dance class with her, which is outside of mine. And I stupidly agreed to this exchange. Why not give it a whirl, right? Maybe I’d become a great dancer in the last decade.
hee.
I lasted 20 minutes. At each step, I was going the opposite direction from everyone else in class. I tripped over my feet. I even knocked into a wall at one point. (It came out of nowhere!) And those sexy wiggly hips? Um, no… Still haven’t grown those. Luckily my sister is pregnant and was super tired, so she was ok with us leaving half way through class. We bought waters on the way out and laughed at ourselves — well, mainly at me.
I showed up back at home and Colin looked surprised that I was back so early. And I just said, “I’m going to go shower. I tip my hat to those people who can dance.” And then I thought… it’s because I use phrases like “tip my hat”. Anyone nerdy enough to say stuff like that without a second thought is not allowed to dance. It’s just against the rules.
And he turned back to his book, nodded and said, “Indeed, Lope. Indeed.”
…sigh… I love that man.
Just wait until Veda gets a little older and starts wiggling…she’ll think you can dance even if all you do is spin her around to the music. What’s funny is baby laughter at your dancing doesn’t make you want to stop. You’ll do anything to get a laugh…so don’t give up on yourself yet! :)
Yeah, just be glad it’s going to be many years until Veda realizes your jumping up and down actually is not called “dancing”.
I completely understand! And am so glad that there is someone else out there that understands the pain. It’s awkward and uncomfortable to be in those situations when you just can not dance — and people generally don’t believe that either. Ugh!
Well, I am not the only one….I went on a Mother/Son cruise for an evening high school event….and thought it would be a fun time….UNTIL….they announced salsa dance lessons…Came close to jumping overboard….Nowhere to hide…..I am a graceful skiier…but can not dance….and so it goes.
this so made me laugh. i suck at dancng–reggae doesn’t count cause all you need to do is bounce–AND, ask patrick, i say those super nerdy ancient cliches ezxcept i always mess em up–last week i said i was a happy clam, er uh, happy as a camper, er, you get the drift. and ALL my hippie taos girlfriends take african and hatian dance and try to get me to go, but literally, it scares me more than giving birth!!!! ah well…maybe i’ll try someday. but i may leave early. xo
Hee hee hee!
I can’t normal-dance either. But I can TOTALLY do crazy-silly-running-man-lawnmower dance. And ecstatic dance? I’m awesome at it. And happy dances, ooh yeah, I rock at that.
We’re about to head off to the markets. Our roomie-at-the-mo Sone is so excited about the markets that she did her Happy-Going-To-The-Markets-dance. It completely rocked.
There’s a billion more awesome dances than the normal-dance. And I’m pretty sure you’d rock at the paint-on-fingers-swirling dance & the nestle-with-Veda-and-sway dance.
Big love you!
Welcome to the Girls Who Can’t Dance club, Lope! We’re glad to have you! Now let’s go paint or take pictures – and have some real fun!
I have followed your blog off and on for years and, after an absence, was elated to come back and hear your wonderful news. Veda is gorgeous and I’m so glad you are writing and creating still. Can’t imagine how hard it is to juggle everything but you have always been inspirational in that way.
You and me (and Col) are in the same boat. I am *attempting* to lose weight. I got a free exercise DVD in my cereal box the other day. It was a dancing exercise video. On top of the fact that I have no talent in that area, it was all in Spanish, which is to be expected since I live in Mexico. If there were a video camera in the room at the same time I was “exercise dancing” it would most likely be aired on America’s Funniest Videos (or Mexico’s).
Oh, I’m with you on this one. I’ve made my peace with the fact that I can’t (or at least reeeeally don’t want to) dance, but it’s the people who insist “but it’s fun!” that really get my goat. Don’t they realize fun is subjective? I bet they don’t think kite flying is fun, or reading cookbooks, or making your own paper, or discussing what your entrance music would be if you were a Major League Baseball player, or…well, you know.
In any case, I tip my hat at you for stepping outside your comfort zone and giving it the old college try. That takes guts. :)
Aww, well, you can’t be good at everything, right?! And you’re one of the best illustrators ever! I am from South Florida though, so I feel your pain. I’m alright, but nothing like some of my friends. The guy I liked so much in tenth grade told me I couldn’t dance, and it made me so embarrassed. Until then I thought I was decent! But it’s all good now. I’d rather have fun and do my thing.
On a side note though, I’m sure you’re doing the little mommy-sway that all ladies seem to do once they put a baby on their hip, no matter how narrow those hips!
I am so glad you went with me! It was rough though, I have to give you credit! The music was moving 10 miles a minute and I think the instructor kept staring at us because we were doing it wrong and giggling the whole time. I had a blast anyway and am looking forward to yoga. Then you can blog about how all my “grace” left me in a twisted pretzel on the floor probably writhing in pain.
Damn that Island girl for breaking your spirit to dance!!! I knew that’s the story you were launching into as soon as I read the first line. IMHO – Dance is a soulful, spiritual, very artistic experience and *shouldn’t* be judged (unless you’re in some kind of a competition, which most of us narrowly escape in life). I say go ahead and dance your tiny little post-partum booty all over that house of yours with your little bundle of joy swaddled closely. *She* won’t ever tell you you can’t dance, not only because she doesn’t know the difference between a talented or natural dancer & a really uncoordinated hippopotamus on roller skates doing the Macarena, but also because to her, you are perfect. That’s how little girls view their mamas. Teach her not to care what her college roommate thinks about her dancing skills, and encourage her to live life to the fullest. I’m proud of you for trying your hand (or feet, rather…or non-wiggly hips :) at dancing again. I’m just saying, please don’t give up on it. You and Colin both have rhythm and are very spiritual people. Dance is more about letting go of your insecurities than doing it *exactly* right (which, because I know you really well, I know you want to be able to do!). Dancing can be extremely liberating if you let it. Maybe you and Colin should consider taking dance lessons??? I’m sure you’d both be completely out of your comfort zones, but I honestly belive it would be an incredible experience for both of you. Miss you guys already, and can’t wait to see you in Indy again soon!
Love,
YSIL
I only dance in my kitchen, usually alone, because I can’t even slow dance without stepping on toes. I try to get my kids to dance with me, but they always run out of the room embarrassed (for me, no doubt). Still, I don’t mind being remembered as the crazy mama who danced in her kitchen — maybe it will make them smile one day!
Ugh! I took a Zumba class for the first (and only) time a couple of months ago. I have never felt so white in my entire life. I have no Latin flavor whatsoever!
You are not alone, Penelope. I’ve been taking Zumba classes with my 14 year old daughter and her friend and we laugh at ourselves more than we dance. I’m no Beyonce and I could care less. I’m in my late 30s and no longer worry about how ridiculous I look. The haters can all go on with themselves. Good on you for giving it a go!
Ha! I love you even more for this! I wrote my last column at Her magazine on this very same topic.
http://hernashville.com/her/private-dancer
Love that I’m not alone! You keep bringing your beauty to the world in whatever way it comes. We think you’re awesome.