three weeks and three days
hello stranger. it’s been a while… We’ve been swimming in new baby oceans and the waters during the first two weeks were very, very rough. Lots of learning and getting to know one another. Helping her get accustomed to the world outside the safe warm womb, and adjusting ourselves to sleep deprivation and this new mysterious beautiful creature. This whole experience so far — from the pregnancy to the birth to breastfeeding to being a newbie parent — has been a huge lesson in lettting go of expectations, plans and assumptions. Nothing has gone the way I’d imagined, and it’s taken a lot of tears and support to get over that and make new decisions based on what works for our little family. But now, just past week three, I can see positive changes and that things are getting a little easier. Feels so good.
I will write more later about some of the challenges, my version of the birth story, and how this little girl is changing our lives. But this is all I can muster right now… she’s been a bit fussy today and she’s finally asleep on my chest (she only sleeps on a person right now, which hardly ever leaves me free to write or do much — which is ok really. I like to just feel her, smell her and listen to her soft sounds). So now I’m going to lie back, listen to the sweet music playing, and do some breathing. Breathing…
more soon…
xoxo
She’s beautiful ~ and thanks for sharing your new journey thus far.
Beautiful babe. The letting go can a challenge sometimes, as is everything when we’re sleep-deprived. Looking forward to reading more about your journey whenever time and energy permit.
oh penny. the dance of the newborn. i’m sending you so much love and positive thoughts for less anxiety, if you have it, and plenty of confidence that you know exactly what your little fairy needs deep inside of you. she is so lucky to have you for her mommy, which will come to light more and more. peace during these days, sister.
Oh how wonderful! Lovely to see you writing of your early days as a new mom. I have to tell you that our little one didn’t sleep anywhere but on a person either and I remember being so shocked by it . . . I truly thought that we would swaddle her and off to sleep she would go. I remember endlessly google-ing it and even brought it up as an “issue” to our pediatrician. He reacted perfectly — told me just to go with it and that she’ll grow out of it eventually (which she did!). I miss those early cozy days though she is still a total snugglebug. You are doing amazing work!
I remember well those first weeks with a baby… I remember the lack of sleep, the feeling that I would never again have a “normal” life. How simple things like having a shower or cooking a meal at the normal hours became incredibly difficult tasks! I wondered how on earth I would ever be able to start working again (I work from home and I have to travel once in a while). I felt mad because nobody ever told me things would be like that and then I thought “of course they haven’t, I’m the only one feeling like this” and I found myself gazing at large gypsy families with 7 or 8 children around them and I wondered how on earth they could manage it! I was an emotional wrek, even though I had wanted and planned that baby. But guess what? As time went on, it all fell into place. Right now, the “baby” is 7 and she has a 4 y-o sister, I go on having my office at home and I am homeschooling both of them. All this to say that if you’re already blogging after just 3 weeks, imagine what you’ll be doing within a few months!
I wish you all the best and I am sure you’ll go on being a great mum ans doing a wonderful work.
I remember when my son was your daughter’s age. He just.wouldn’t.take.naps alone. Someone had to carry or hold him at all times. He didn’t even appreciate baby carriers or slings or anything. I do remember having blogged, and I have webcam photos of him sleeping against my left arm while I’m typing with the right hand. There is no “but” in this story – at 4 yrs old, he is still high maintenance. I suppose it’s the kids that teach us and not vice versa.
its constantly changing, ebbing and flowing and just when you think you’ve got it…..they shift again….you’ve have the right attitude about letting go expectations and no one can tell you that, you have to figure it out for yourself. even after 18yrs they can still do this to you so hold on for a wonderful ride.
hi penny and little v. been thinking of you two.
oh P-mama, these pictures are melting my heart! we’ve been thinking about you 3. i feel like your words are somehow helping me relax into the unknown weeks and months ahead. share more when you can but for now just breathe…and cuddle. much love, j-mama
hi penny,
you two look so sweet together. you summed up so perfectly how i felt with my first baby. my husband were both so freaked out by everything and how different having a baby is from what you think it will be. she turned our world upside down. you sound like you have such a good perspective of this all, you are doing great!
xo lori
hmmm, maybe she would sleep on a hot water bottle, or Vince could carry her around on his back. Well it will get better and you’re doing a great job! Try to keep your own balance and not feel guilty about any decisions you made. Love the photos! Jan
Oh, she is so beautiful. xxx
I think you’re weathering the storm quite well, Mama P. :) It was great to see you guys again this weekend. She is the most precious thing I have ever laid eyes on. I’m biased I guess. I’m sorry I was sick! Let me know when you want me to come again…I don’t want to be the aunt that doesn’t know her boundaries! I miss and love you all.
xoxo,
YSIL
You hit the nail on the head. And that letting go of expectations continues throughout their lives, though you get pretty used to it. But the flip side of this is all of the things you couldn’t have expected- like just how much you can love another person. I always feel like the first twelve weeks are the real crazy part and then things start feeling a little smoother. It is a lot to learn- how to take care of these tiny people. Best wishes with your beautiful new baby girl.
Congratulations and thanks for sharing. I think your words will be useful to me sometime in the future.
Love from the south.
Until my nephew was three months old he would only sleep on someone’s chest. Several times when I visited I would sleep in the rocker/recliner in the nursery with him in my arms. It was so sweet, but I know my brother and SIL found it a challenge. Even now, at 2 years, if he’s sick with a cold he likes to snuggle. Good luck with this new adventure!
Penny, she’s gorgeous!! Letting go of expectations is very important when having children, and so healthy.
A young man you know, my youngest son, spent the first 3 months of life in a snuggly on my chest. He slept like that almost every day. Then, suddenly, at 3 months, he was done. Just that quickly. The pack, mounted on my chest, allowed us both a little freedom. Just a suggestion from 1 old mom to a young one.
sooooooooooo beautiful pictures and baby! Congratulations Penelope!
and yes…challenging and SO beautiful experience. You and your baby will be stronger and stronger and will grow in beauty
Congrats! and welcome to new parenthood. She’s beautiful.
A baby sling saved my life and sanity when my babies were young. THEY REALLY WORK. I put a folded blanket in the bottom of my sling before I put the baby in.
isn’t that the real lesson of life, letting go of expecations. You doing awesome, she is beatiful you are beatiful your husband is wonderful. You have each other. Keeping breathing you are amazing!
She is beautiful. And thank you for always being so completely honest.
Hello beautiful woman…
You are so loved darling…
so many blessings to you and your precious shining family as you find your way into living with each other…
big huuuuugs
xoxoxoxoxo
leonie
Beautiful pictures, thanks for sharing.
My daughter is 7 months old (already?!) and I’m still learning how to let go of expectations, plans and assumptions. :)
Love your tweet about the ‘boob tube’. Very true. It gets better though, I pulled myself off the couch b/w week 4-5. Hope you and Veda are doing well. It’s all a big loss of control but well worth it, right? Especially when you see that first smile! And the next million after that.