self-preservation
My Sacred Life, Day 15
Self-preservation.
I am slow in learning this skill apparently. The skill of recognizing harm and then avoiding it. It seems like I am aware of things that make me feel bad, and yet I still do them for whatever reason… specifically certain blogs I read.
I don’t know if you guys do this too (perhaps it’s just me?), but there are some blogs in my blogroll that make me feel like poo almost every time I check them. I don’t know why exactly, but I read them and then end up feeling — not good enough… not smart enough… not creative enough… not cool enough. And yet: I still continue to read them! It’s like blog crack!
And I’m not sure if I can’t let them go because of guilt?… “I’ve been following them for this long.” Or if it’s some sort of compulsion to see what those people are doing/thinking? Or that I’m simply a masochist…
But I’m finally putting an end to it. I am putting self-preservation first.
No more blogs that make me feel bad. Capisce?
I started by transferring my blogroll bookmarks to my laptop and then deleted ALL blogs from my work computer (oh man did this help with productivity). No blogs during the day — cold turkey, baby!
Then, over the course of a week, I organized the blogs on my laptop into categories based on how they made me feel. So there is a folder called “calm blogs” that always inspire me, fill me up, calm me down, and make me feel happy. Then there is a “family blogs” folder where all my family is (yes, all those make me happy too). Then there is a “general blogs” of people who I like and want to spy on, and don’t ever make me feel upset.
And finally I created a “boo blogs” folder that was the catchall for every blog that made me feel crappy after reading.
Now to be totally honest, I still haven’t completely deleted the “boo blogs” folder. I just hid it underneath news and business folders so it’s not on my main bookmarks bar. I still am having a hard time letting them go (which is silly I guess, but true). I’m working up to it. But I do know that I haven’t checked those all week, and feel great. Baby steps, my friends. :)
So I thought I’d use the concept of self-preservation as this “my sacred life” entry. Because what’s more sacred than listening to yourself and honoring how you feel?
I was feeling this way, and was trying to look up who had posted it! I’m glad I found it :)